Hello. I’m Charlie, owner of ShopGlad.
I was married for many years, until it ended seven years ago. You might be asking, “If your marriage ended, what makes you qualified to give tips for a successful marriage?” Well, I am qualified for four reasons. First, the marriage ended through no choice of our own. Second, I was marred to a wonderful woman. Third, we were made for each other. I could read her mind and she could read mine. Finally, I was a good husband and she was a wonderful wife. However, it didn’t come easy. But once we fully understood each other, our marriage was easy from that point on.
We had a successful marriage, but it didn’t come easy
We met in October, and broke up in June of the same year (I won’t say the year because it happened a long time ago). The following June, we were still apart and hadn’t seen or spoken to each other. I knew she was my true love, and I couldn’t live without her.
Then, the following March, 21 months after we broke up, I found a way to get a message to her without calling her. We had a mutual acquaintance. She called me, we talked, and I went to her house the next night, which was a Sunday. We decided to just talk and date to see where this would take us.
To make a long story short, on October 21 of that year, we were married. She was and always will be my soulmate, and I knew it all the time. We were married for many years. We would have stayed together forever, but there was someone who prevented that from happening. He is evil, and his name is Lung Cancer.
I miss her so bad it hurts. Her name is Karen, and she is my whole world. There are 9 reasons our marriage was successful, which I’m about to share with you right now.
1. Know who you marry, and be deeply in love
At the time Karen and I were married, I was truly in love with her. Often I said to myself, “I know that I love her, but I love her so much that I can’t get her out of my mind!” Every day since, even today, the thought of being with her makes me feel so special. Right from the start, I knew why we were meant to be together.
2. Never let a day go by without telling your spouse, ‘I Love You’
If you ever thought repeating yourself gets dull and boring, forget this. It doesn’t apply here. Telling your spouse “I Love You” is something they’ll never get tired of hearing.
3. Treat your spouse like the most important person in the world
There a reason for this. Your husband or wife IS the most important person in your life. Never let them forget it. If you’re thinking of marrying someone who’s not the most important person in your life, don’t do it. It won’t work. You’d be better off staying single. When Karen and I were married, there were many times when an unimportant situation would arise. She would ask something like, “What do you think?” or “What should you do?” Most of the time, I’d reply, “It doesn’t matter. I only have one reason for breathing.” Then she’d say, “I know, ME!” She was so right.
4. A marriage is no place for an ego
Ego is something that will do nothing but get you in trouble. This is the main reason marriages fail. When some couples get into an argument or disagreement. and both feel they have to win, disaster will follow. Don’t misunderstand me. Karen and I had disagreements occasionally, but they were not as important as our life together. I’d usually reply by saying, “Look, whatever you think is OK with me. I got what I wanted one October 21.”
An ego is what caused us to break up. Because of an ego, I almost lost the most precious person in my life, forever. While we were married, many people who knew us asked why we broke up. I’d respond by saying, “Because I was once arrogant and had an ego.” I didn’t mind taking the blame, because I got what I wanted – my precious Karen back. Believe me, marriage, or any relationship is NO PLACE for an EGO. I’ve been there.
5. Love your spouse more and more as time passes
When I married Karen, I was so in love with her. I didn’t think it was possible to love her even more. But that’s what marriage is all about. As you’re going through life with your spouse, notice things about them that you love, and that you didn’t realize before. If your marriage is successful, you will love your husband or wife on your fifth anniversary even more than you loved them on the day you were married. Love each other more every day. Grow with each other.
6. Never, and I mean, NEVER step out on your spouse
Before I was married, I told a few people that I would never step out on my wife. The response was always, “You don’t know that!” Well, let me tell it straight – I did know that. I said I wouldn’t step out, and I never did. A real man, or woman, does not do this. A few people asked me, “Would you step out on Karen?” I’d simply say, “NOT A CHANCE!” If you step out on your spouse the first time, you’d do it a second time, and a third time. How can you prevent doing it a second time? Don’t do it the first time. If you do, your spouse will never trust you again. Remember how hard you’ve worked to earn that trust. Don’t throw it away. This is one of two things I’m a fanatic about, and the second thing is next.
7. Never hit your spouse
This applies to both men and women, but particularly to men. What do you call a man who hits a woman? The answer is, a Bully. Again, don’t do it the first time, and you’ll never do it the second time. If you do, your marriage isn’t worth a dime. She may forgive, but she’ll never forget. You don’t want this hanging over your shoulder.
8. Give each other space
No matter how much you love each other, you don’t want to be together 24 / 7. You will have your interests and your spouse will have other interests. If you both have the same interests, that’s fine. But this rarely happens. I played golf three times a week while we were married. Karen didn’t particularly like golf. She liked to do needle point. This was not one of my interests. Different interests will make a marriage even stronger. Support each other, but give each other their space. Don’t smother your spouse.
9. Little things are very important
Something I loved to do was call Karen from the office in the middle of the day. I’d say, “I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you.” She’d say, “YOU WERE?” I’d say, “Yes I was. And now that you’ve been thought of, I have to go. I’m a little busy.” She loved it.
Men, go up to your wife and give her a kiss, for no reason. It will make her day. Send her flowers on a day that’s not a celebration. You don’t need to have a reason. When you go out, always open the car door for her. At a restaurant, help her into her chair. Help her put her coat on. Many people think this is old school, but I promise you, this will never go out of style.
Ladies, write a note to your husband telling him how much he means to you, and put it in a place where he’ll see it. My wife did this all the time, and I still have every note she wrote me. Go up to your husband and give him a kiss.
Here’s a little thing that will make your marriage even more romantic. On a Saturday morning, when you both wake up, get in the car, take a long drive, and stop at a restaurant for breakfast. Karen and I did this, and once, we drove 80 miles just to eat breakfast at Jim’s Restaurant, one of the best in the country for breakfast.
When you’re together in a public place, hold hands. Karen and I would flirt with each other when we were shopping. Once a security guard asked her, “Is this guy bothering you?” She said, “No, he’s my husband.” The guard didn’t know what to say.
Finally, always kiss your spouse before leaving the house or going to bed.
Little things make a tremendous difference, whether you’ve been married 5 years or 50 years.
Marriage is a very sacred institution. Unless you’re willing to give your entire self to your spouse, don’t enter into it. Your husband or wife is the most important person in your life. Let them know this, every day. Never take your spouse for granted. Remind them every day how much they mean to you.